How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
