Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am one with the molecules
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
