If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
