God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
