just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
