It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
