Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
