i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
