Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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