I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
