I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
