my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
