The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
