We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize