Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You took a bar mat shot.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
