Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
