he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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