U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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