Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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