i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
