He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
