Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
