the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There r osticjed everywhere
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
