Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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