I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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