Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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