I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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