Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
