i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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