He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
