You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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