Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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