one two three fourrrrnication!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
