problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
