I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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