I was born with a shot glass in my hand
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
