***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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