Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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