just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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