This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
