Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
