You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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