she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
