Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
