is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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