Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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