Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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