Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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