after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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