I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
