my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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