Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
