i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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