I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize