Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize