Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
