What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
