I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My ass is underappreciated
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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