how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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