I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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