i think i have herpe
just one?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
