I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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